Colon Cancer indeed sucks ass...

I am surfing the colon cancer survivors' blogs and I realised I am one of the most young ones. I was diagnosed at 26-27 with a cancer that had already spread to the lymph nodes and next year I had re-occurrence of the cancer that had spread to the uterus and my doctor believes has spread to the liver as well. Two surgeries, two never-ending cycles of chemo and I am still battling on the first front. A doctor told me that I have 15-20% chances to survive. And I still laugh and dream. Will I die? Definitely. But when and how, no doctor will tell me. I refuse to yield to depression, to fear and desperation. This is my war and in the war zone there is no space for self pity and fear. I do what I have to do and the rest is for God to choose. As long as I have my family and my love holding my hand, I will fight.

A Song of Ice and Fire

A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin

The fantasy world of Martin is far more interesting than Tolkien' s , at least for me. What can I say? I am guilty of loving these books as much as the TV series. It is this year's guilty pleasure....

Ambitions, love, lust, warfare and a lot, a lot of blood in these pages that will keep your interest up to the last page. Even if you have seen the TV series, the books serve as juicy extras and peeks into the characters.

Buy it and bury yourself in a comfortable sofa with a cup of coffee to devour it!

“So many books, so little time.” ― Frank Zappa

Books are a  passion for me. I cannot claim to be a scholar, but still, isn't it more important to read just for pleasure?

And that is exactly why in this list you will find all sorts of books- best sellers along with classics.
My fiance' always makes fun of me for what he calls craziness/moodiness. "How can you watch Casablanca and the next day Spiderman?", "How can you read Herman Hesse and the next day Game of Thrones?", "How can you listen to black metal and then switch to Bach?" Well, I guess, either I am kind of crazy, or I just like to take bites of all the fruits offered. Why bother with labels? Humans have limitless potential and countless sides of character. Why limit ourselves? Yam, I'll grab a bite now.

Βιος και Λογοι του Γεροντος Πορφυριου Καυσοκαλλυβιτου / The life and words of Father Porphyrios

Although this book is in Greek, I have to put it first because it is my rock. This book is always by my side and soothes my fear, my anxiety, my pain. Written by one of the three Saints of our era, Father Porphyrios, is a collection of his words, his legacy. When our Saint Porphyrios left this world, he had his thought on all those who are in pain, all those that would seek for his counsel and he allowed some of his children in spirit to put his words in paper. And thus, the Grace that God bestowed upon him, reaches us and  helps us in our time of need.

Meaw

And may I present Alexander Fiodorovits Grey aka Sasha. (I felt bad talking only of Melissa...)

Look, his face is saying it all :"Just give me the food and beat it. That will be all, servant..."

Shopping disaster :(

Today I had a shopping orgy on dog's accessories.
Yep... I bought:

• A Furminator brush for my lab's coat
• A shampoo to boost the shine of the coat
• A rubber brush for massage and healthy coat
• Pig ears for chewing
• Bones for chewing
• "shoes" for chewing
• Cesar Millan's book (the one on the left)
• A pink adjustable leash (e-stages,XL size)
• Matching pink collar
• Tag with her name and cellphone (mine, not hers)
• A 3m long lead of plastic and wire for tying her in the yard occasionally
• 13kg of Royal Canine food for junior labs (ouch, the price hurt)
• Treats in different flavours (beef,chicken,game,pineapple(!),vegetables etc) and sizes.
• A travel bowl for food/water
• A bag of biscuits
• A ball-toy

and last but not least cat food. Poor Sasha (the cat), he is not costing a bit compared to Melissa(the puppy).

OMG, it was a disaster of epic proportions. I spent about 250Euros while my salary for August was only about 300Euros. I think I have a real problem, I am officially a shopaholic.

At least I will not end up being the crazy cat lady in the neighbourhood since I spend on the dog rather than cats and also it is impossible to get more pets. 

About Cesar now. I am a big big fan. I have all seasons of the Dog Whisperer show and four of his books. The man is a genius. He is making training and living with the dog so easy and simple. The key is to be as close to mother nature as possible. Mimic the pups mother and be a leader so that the pup feels safe and grows with a right role model. Yes, I said role model. Have you seen how often dogs are resembling the owners? If the role model is an easy going, cheerful, kind and friendly type with proper behaviour, the doggy will grow as a friendly,easy going animal with proper behaviour around other animals and people, as well as around the house. 

Following Cesar's clues, my 7month lab is a clever,socially educated, happy puppy. I am "exposing" her in all  kinds of environments. We go to the centre of the city, the mountain, the beach, the vet's practise, to the river for swimming, in coffee places, in friends' houses and for play dates. She has many doggy and human friends and she has learned to sleep either in her crate or on my sister's/mine bed's feet. She is my little one, replacing the baby I can never have. Look, she has grown up:

Melissa with her chewing treat

Shit in a shithole

Damn it, I stumbled on a cancer blog and read about the aggressiveness of some stupid tumours. Thanks a lot dear blogger, I will barely sleep tonight again. Yes, I know, I am on the roller-coaster of "Final Destination" and I will definitely die. Fuck you and your cheerful statistics. Shit ,shit and for dessert more shit  :(  

The Tree of Life & The Fountain

Yggdrasill

One of my favourite Norse myths is about Yggdrasill. It is the myth of the life Tree and reflects all the beauty of Norse sagas, being also a wonderful symbol of the transience of life. 

The sperm of the end of the word in Nordic mythology lays right in its creation through the existence of the cosmic tree, Yggdrasill. It is an evergreen ash tree of prodigious dimensions, on which the universe is supported and symbolizes the battle between light and dark, the balance and change between constant decay and renewal, and through it universal notions such as life, time and destiny are expressed. 

Yggdrasill has three roots that stretch to three planes of worlds. On the first layer are the worlds Asgard (home of the Aesir gods), Vanaheim (home of the Vanir-lesser gods) and Alfheim (home of the elves). On the second layer is Midgard (home of the humans), Jotunheim(home of the frost giants), Nidavellir (home of the dwarves) and Svartalfheim (home of the dark elves). On the third and lower layer is Hel and Nifelheim, the death worlds. All worlds are dependent on the existence of the life tree, even the death worlds, gods, giants and humans altogether.Beneath it also stands the fountain of wisdom, where Odin sacrificed one of his eyes to drink from and gain his wisdom.

But even Yggdrasill might die. Four stags are eating its leaves and the huge serpent Nidhogg is gnawing its roots incessantly. In result, when Ragnarök approaches, the final battle of the gods, the tree will shiver and maybe even fall, bringing the end of all worlds. 

This notion of Yggdrasill -not as in nordic mythology but as it appears in other theological systems- seems to be behind the story of the cosmic tree in the amazing film "The Fountain" by Darren Aronofsky. 

The Fountain" by Darren Aronofsky.

In this film there are three parallel story lines. In the first-the past, the protagonist is venturing to find the cosmic tree of life in the jungles of the New World for the favour of his queen. In the second- the present, he is struggling to isolate the ingredients of the Tree of Life to save his dying love. And in the last one-the future, he is travelling in space with a tree ,seeking the supernova that will transcend the death of his beloved into life once again. 

In the end, this film is a poem about love, life and death. About the desperation of losing the love of our life and being unable to accept the loss, unable to find rest, peace and finally, closure. 

I believe that this is one of the very few films that capture the agony of copying with mortality and the stages of grief after a loved one's passing. Life is so fragile, so temporary that a Godless life might resemble a hell, at least for me. There must be some reason, a meaning, a purpose, something....