Searching for my wedding cake...

My fiance' wants to get married as soon as I get well.
But what is getting well for me? Doctors say I have about 20% chances to make it past 5 years.
So what does "getting well" mean for me?
People usually think themselves in a projection of years to come. Thinking and planning for this year, the next, taking loans and building for the future. What is my future?
Next month, in two weeks, I will have CT scans again, to see what happened to the metastasis in the liver. This is as far as I can see my future. Two weeks ahead...
It sounds so depressing...
So I am planning my wedding instead. And dream and hope and love and pray to our God of Love to let me stay.  

The Immortality Promise

I am not a writter.
I need no followers.
But I need to speak.
Talk about cancer.
About dying,living and my life now.
Why on a blog? That I do not understand. Maybe because Facebook is not the proper place for chemo jokes or to share past-midnight thoughts.
It doesn't matter. I'll just see it as a psychotherapy of some kind...
Perhaps I grab on this immortality promise. A promise that despite my demise a fingerprint of me will be out there somewhere...
And so I start...