On religion and Love

I am living for more than a year in the world of cancer. I met so many people, I heard so many stories, I saw so many tears of pain/of happiness/of gratitude. One thing is for sure: After a point, your only hope of survival is either God, or at least your inner hardness.
For me, it's God. I have been in agnosticism for most of my life, but some time before I got diagnosed and from then on, I saw a certain pattern in things. I have always been searching for clues, in earth, in people, in the air around. The traces of something more than mortality. And once I have seen enough, being forced to look death in the face, it all started making sense. Going through a serious illness might either terminate you or open your eyes wide...

And I have seen. The vast universe, the change of seasons, the magnificence of birth, the complexity of  organisms, the depth of human soul, the capacity of individuals to destroy or create, the miracles while hope is long gone. I learned about lost gods, about mother Earth, about hedonism, about morality and immorality.
Our world, this world full of diversity and colour is only a grain of sand in the universe and our life is less than milliseconds in an endlessness of time.
It is difficult to imagine any importance in our existence, isn't it? And yet, there is when God comes and puts everything into place. In my orthodox Christian dogma, apart from the cold ,often misjudged exterior, there is a deep mystical current. If you are lucky, persistent and find the true people of God and read with your heart the scriptures, all is unveiled. I don't mean to convert or make any propaganda here. After all, I believe that there is only one universal truth that can be reached through most religions, or can be experienced through remote and mere observation of the world. Ancient Greek philosophers had in my opinion accumulated deep knowledge on this. All I am saying is that God is there, but he needs us to open the door, invite him in with an open heart and shall not leave us alone, ever. Down in the darkest pit, in the deepest despair, God is offering his hand, relieving our pain, giving us a reason to go on.
I believe in freedom, in acceptance and I respect all beliefs. Because the God I believe in, is not only embracing everyone with love but is also the God of those who hurt, the homeless, the despaired, the repenting, the lonely, the scared, the weak, the faulty, everyone that will call him.

And last but not least: until the time that no love can be given and no love can be received, this life will be worth living...

Notes on a cemetery..

I always found the sight of cemeteries appealing.
One might rush into a conclusion that I am morbid, but truth is far from that.
Cemeteries can be fascinating. They represent the culture and the beliefs of a religion and of individuals and blah blah blah..
I could say so much about their significance culturally but in the end what draws me into these places is always the calmness. There is a sensation of peace and loneliness that leads to deeper thoughts. Thoughts of our transient nature, of impermanence, of life and death, of wishes, of time.
Monks and philosophers used to keep rooms with view of cemeteries or they kept in their room objects reminding of death.
"Memento mori" they called it. Quoting Wikipedia: "[it is] a Latin phrase translated as "Remember your mortality", "Remember you must die" or "Remember you will die".It refers to a genre of artworks that vary widely but which all share the same purpose: to remind people of their mortality.."
And remembering our mortality is -opposed to what most people believe- the start of the most fulfilled and rich life. For knowing how to die is knowing how to live.
Being aware of how short and unpredictable life is, lets us appreciate the moments. Prompts us not to keep malice between each other, because what today angers us in aspect of death it means nothing, while love and kindness means everything.
Would you keep being angry at your partner if you knew you would never see him the next day? No.
Would you cry and be depressed over what a client shouted at you at work if you knew you had only a month left to live? No
My favorite psychiatrist-author ,Irvin Yalom, says :"Although the physicality of death destroys man, the idea of death saves him".
In the end, conscience is what separates us from animals, and knowledge is our burden and our privilege as a species, as God's image creatures and as individuals.