Yesterday was the second chemotherapy, of the second circle of chemotherapies, of the second time I got cancer. Hihi. Fun times...
However, my scary scary doctor that enjoys telling me always the <<truth>> ,(quoting: "well, if you have five more metastasis next time, evidently this chemo isn't working and (subtext) you're screwed...") said that the last CT's are good. Which means they are veery good. Weeee! Good for him also because I experience a terror inflicted nausea in his office and recently I was ready to puke on his doorstep. He just dodged a bullet there.
I don't know why he always has this deadly seriousness and he prefers to highlight the difficulties, the bad chances, the worst case scenarios. Yes dear, by now I have realised exactly where I stand. But, please , do not drain my hope, do not scare me more. Give me a reason to keep up, inspire me, help me, sympathise with my pain, be my real doctor. In my case, statistics are not good, so I need all my strength and courage. I need to fight and if you, my doctor, do not believe in me, you hurt my morale, you make me stumble, you demotivate me.
Just don't take my hope away...
